December 24, 2009

Tiger Woods and The Problem With Religion And Monogamy

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:27 am by fuckyourfavoritedreams

I’m sorry this is old news, but I wrote it while it was relevant and am posting before it becomes even more irrelevant.

It has been impossible to watch television recently and not see Tiger Woods’ face and testimony from all of the women that he allegedly had sex with. Affairs are very common news stories for the 24-hour news networks (John Edwards comes to mind). It seems like several times a month, unlikely people are outed for having sex outside of their marriage.

This is because monogamy just doesn’t work.

In general, monogamy doesn’t work at all, and the idea that it does comes from religious belief that that is the way that it should be, which is strengthened by examples, which are usually people that stay together because their religion tells them that it is unacceptable to divorce. Since religion is losing its hold on the United States, we are now beginning to see figures suggesting that most marriages will end in divorce eventually.

This is because humans are evolutionarily serial monogamists—we tend to be with one partner at a time and then move to another. We do not mate for life. Some people are more comfortable in polyamorous relationships, and there is nothing any more condemnable about that.

Religion is to blame because it keeps sex as something that is sacred and evil and special and awful at the same time and says that it should only be with one person, and that once you choose that one person, you are filthy if you choose to have se with anyone after that. Even people who aren’t religious feel queasy thinking about serial monogamy and especially polyamory, so it has been imprinted into each of us by our religious society. I know that I, personally, had a long time of dealing with my feelings on the subject, even though I was never religious.

I am not defending Tiger’s actions. When you are not in an open relationship with a person, and you have sex with another person, that is called cheating. He violated his wife’s trust. That is what condemnable here. Not that he had feelings for other women. Perhaps if we as a society had a more open view of sexuality we would be able to engage more openly in sex and open relationships would be possible. Without this negative social pressure about open relationships, people could have sex with people besides their spouse and be open about it with their spouse and there would still be trust in the relationship.

Because of our society, people think that they own their partner’s sexuality and vice versa. Some people even get jealous if their partner masturbates. This is completely ridiculous and a product of a backwards religious culture that won’t allow sex to be a personal, enjoyable, guiltless experience.

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